And You Thought You Were an Asshole
These are actual conversations I had with salepeople at Great Mall.
1. In Media Play
Salesgirl: "Did you find everything okay?"
Me: "No, it was hell. I've spent the last week searching your store for this. At night I slept under the dvd rack."
Salesgirl: (laughs) "Oh, I didn't see you when I came in this morning."
Me: "I was doing my best to hide, because I thought you might hurt me. You're scary."
Salesgirl: (luaghs)
2. Outside the mall
Some Dude: "Hi, would you like to find out how you can help save a starving child?"
Me: "No, I hate children. Let them die."
Some Dude: (Doesn't know what to say)
3. In mall commons
Salesdude: "Hey, would you like to see some of our new cell phones? We have a great new plan."
Me: "Hmmm. . . A cell phone would help me stay in contact with people, wouldn't it?
Saledude: "Of course."
Me: "I hate people, I do my best to avoid people at all costs, people are a pathetic virus on the Earth. Why would I want something that made it easier for people I don't like to contact me?"
Salesdude: "Umm. . ."
After leaving the mall I pulled out my cell phone and told my Mommy how much ass I kick.
I hate Salespeople.
1. In Media Play
Salesgirl: "Did you find everything okay?"
Me: "No, it was hell. I've spent the last week searching your store for this. At night I slept under the dvd rack."
Salesgirl: (laughs) "Oh, I didn't see you when I came in this morning."
Me: "I was doing my best to hide, because I thought you might hurt me. You're scary."
Salesgirl: (luaghs)
2. Outside the mall
Some Dude: "Hi, would you like to find out how you can help save a starving child?"
Me: "No, I hate children. Let them die."
Some Dude: (Doesn't know what to say)
3. In mall commons
Salesdude: "Hey, would you like to see some of our new cell phones? We have a great new plan."
Me: "Hmmm. . . A cell phone would help me stay in contact with people, wouldn't it?
Saledude: "Of course."
Me: "I hate people, I do my best to avoid people at all costs, people are a pathetic virus on the Earth. Why would I want something that made it easier for people I don't like to contact me?"
Salesdude: "Umm. . ."
After leaving the mall I pulled out my cell phone and told my Mommy how much ass I kick.
I hate Salespeople.
posted by DyingBurningFighting at 5:12 PM
3 Comments:
Wow! I'm sorry, I want to say something, but I just can't get past the whole guy-in-a-mall thing.
I freakin hate the Great Mall. I also hate salespeople. You rule.
my sister was tired of people asking her, "are they twins?" when her sons were still in strollers.
She said her best conversation stopper reply was, "no, these are the survivors of the quints..."
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